Sunday, August 21, 2011

Quarter-Life Crisis



There are dishes piled up in the sink, and papers strewn all over my bedroom floor. But the piles are unnoticed as I sit here typing as tears trickle down my cheeks.

What is going on you may ask? Well, it’s simple really. I’m having a quarter-life crisis.

I have been feeling the isolation, questioning and confusion for months. I watch incredible people take earth-shaking risks and find God’s blessing, and people who drop everything to do what they love. They know it’s not easy, but as they follow God’s call, they have found peace, strength and adventure.

And I want it to. My heart longs to hear the Spirit’s soft whisper of guidance and direction, to know that I am following His lead, not leading Him! I desire to live each day trusting that the provision will always be there, that even in the hardest of times, He will always take care of me.

I long, overall, for community. Tonight, my two wonderful friends, sisters and housemates (though one has now struck out on her own), went to a church that strives to create an environment of belonging in the local area. They are the true essence of a community—a safe place that reaches inward for communal strength from their God, then rushes outward to spread that love to everyone they come into contact with. And it is a beautiful sight.

And it makes my heart ache to be a part of such things. To interact with people outside of the church office where I work. To reach teenagers outside of the church building where I serve. To get OUT into the community and love on people who desperately need Jesus’ love shown to them.

So I am on a search to find God’s heart, and to find my place in His plan. To dream with Him and to live out those dreams every day of my life for the rest of my life. It will not be easy. It will not be comfortable. It will most definitely not be safe. But God never told us it would be simple and fun. The Bible doesn’t promise us a happy, secure life. Yes, it says we should be filled with the joy of the Lord, but even that can happen during a trial.

I am determined to move away from stagnation and get out of the rut. Who’s with me?



1 comment:

Denise said...

Great post Laura; I struggle with these same desires and thoughts. I know my gifts and talents and my deepest heart's desire is to get out there and pursue them! Don't ever lose your passion; God will open a window of opportunity, and lead you on your journey at the perfect time. :)

Denise