Recently, I discovered I am not a 9-5 girl. In other words, I am not an office girl. A one-job girl. A sit here all day part-time or full-time girl.
I have too much energy. Too many dreams. I want to change the world, love teenagers, start programs, and write books at the beach. I want to take photographs, organize people's closets and speak to befuddled parents and youth workers. I want to shine light into the darkness and bring unspoken issues that are full of shame into the spotlight.
And besides, the 9-5 routine makes me feel stuck. I am a forward moving girl. I hate standing around. While I enjoy the stability of routine, I hate stagnation. I want freedom, new experiences, and the liberty to find my destiny--every day of the week!
I do NOT want to sit at a desk for the rest of my life. I don't even want to do it now! If you know me, don't get me wrong--I love my job. I just don't love my job. I enjoy working in ministry and I like the behind the scenes typing and organizing. I'm good at it. But I believe God created me for bigger things.
I came to this conclusion after realizing that I live for the weekends. Friday, Saturday and Sunday are my only days when I do not have the same work routines and I dream of seeing my house, cleaning, shopping, going places and hanging out with people. It's adventure time.
The four to five days in between are, well, dreaded and dragged through. Sadly, if I am not enjoying four days out of seven, I'm missing more than half of my life. That's a scary thought folks! I dread going to bed because I dread getting up in the morning. On some occasions, I want to just give up and quit everything.
Part of this comes from my overdoing personality that takes on more than I can adequately handle in a healthy manner. But even when I try to simplify and reduce my commitments, there is little satisfaction. Last week I found the blog of a 23 year old lady who quit her 9-5 job to live her dreams as a freelance photographer/graphic designer/blog designer, and let me tell you, I so wish I could be her! The funny thing is, I think God is using all these influences to shape me--to prepare me for a life so totally opposite 9-5. It might start sooner than I think. It might take longer than I think. I don't know what God's plans are. But I know I am ready for a change. For a radical revolution to the next step in life.
I have been told by adults and mentors that they expect nothing less from me than changing the world. Two other adults have told me that they want to be like me when they grow up. I know on every level that God has huge things in store for me. And that scares me out of my mind. But I also know that God's adventures, while radical and crazy and oftentimes, seemingly impossible, are the exact places we need to be, and I'll take that any day.
Today, I wish I could quit everything and live my dreams. And guess what? There's no telling when that will happen!
2 comments:
This hits home pretty hard! :) I am literally so afraid of boredom and routine that I deliberately fill any free time with activities and planned events to take advantage of every single minute of the day. However I often forget that I need to be a good steward of my time, and that always rushing is preventing me from appreciating the day and resting in God's strength. My time belongs not only to me, but to God. And I always want more of it!
Good luck and many blessings on your dreams and passions! :)
Denise
Miss Laura:
Today was a 9-1 day and it about drove me off my rocker! Trapped behind a desk with no sunlight is no way to live life. I'm praying that God opens so many doors for both of us, and AngelInk! I know He has plans for us and will use us in His service if we will simply have faith and be open! We were not built for this, therefore, we will not be here forever...
Ok, that is all. :o)
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